Well. It happened to us. We have officially become “that” couple. The couple who gets to experience emotions so raw and so real that you actually feel your blood turn to ice. The body and it’s emotions over take you as the shaking starts and your heart starts beating so wildly out of your chest that you have to clutch your hand on top of it to try and get it to stop. The reality of it all hits you like a freight train and all you can do is stare, numb to anyone and everything around you.
This is exactly how my husband and I felt on the morning of January 9th as we sat on the couch side by side, speakerphone on, while we were read the scripted paragraph. We hit end and it was done. Jeremy no longer was an employee for his company. He was laid off. “In order to save money, we need to put some cost cutting measures in place, so we are eliminating your territory due to this fact.” Your mind pretty much blanks out after that sentence.
He doesn’t have a job? We get one month’s pay and then that’s THAT? I am not working now. I have been homeschooling our kids. For the first time during a “life shift”, I have no form of income coming in. This company kept telling us they were going to transfer us to Charlotte, even though I didn’t believe them. Now I know why. “Wait until the first of the year” they kept saying. For THIS?! But Jeremy is one of their top sales reps. He’s one of the only reps growing his territory. He’s one of the few holding this company TOGETHER! He was going to be going into management with them. They chose HIM to be 1 of 6 reps to represent the entire sales force on a leadership board. GOD! What is happening?! I can’t even THINK!
Let me back up to the beginning of January, a “New Year”, with new resolutions, new game plans, and new excitement. The prayer of a couple who know they are supposed to relocate to Charlotte, but in His timing, are lifting up prayers to Heaven heavily.
January 1, 2014. “God! Please show us where you want us. Do you want us to dig in and establish roots here or are you wanting to move us on? Please make it very clear to each of us so we will know what it is You want. We only want to be where You want us to be, so this is our heart’s cry for 2014. It’s been almost a year since you’ve revealed this to us, so please make any crooked paths straight for our family.”
January 5, 2014. “Jeremy, this verse keeps showing itself everywhere I look! On Facebook, on Instagram, in my Bible, in devotions; this is going to be my verse for 2014. Isaiah 43:18-19 “Do not remember the former things, or consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
January 7, 2014. “God. Please, please continue to show us Your will. What is it You want us to do? Where do you want us to be? The kids are aching to be closer to family, You have prepared our hearts for this unknown place in North Carolina, and we are ready, but only in Your timing. We don’t want to go where You don’t want us. Please show us clearly so we won’t be confused what to do. Continue to guide our family as we go.”
January 8, 2014. Made this my Facebook status. ”God has given us a mission to fulfill that can only be fulfilled after we have spent adequate time in preparation in the desert. Fear not the desert, for it is here you will hear God’s voice like never before. It is here you will have the idols of your life removed. It is here you begin to experience the reality of a living God like never before. When He has accomplished what He wants in our lives in the desert, He will bring us out.” Os Hillman
January 9, 2014. What?! What’s happening? How can this be? We don’t understand! “We” don’t understand?! Hmmm. That’s kind of a funny thing to ask, wouldn’t you agree???
Friends, this is how God works. When it’s put to paper, it brings me to tears to see how only He can prepare hearts for what’s coming up in our lives. We don’t realize that’s what He’s doing at the time, but He is on our side. He loves us with an unconditional love. He hears our prayers. And though they may not look like what we can see in our minds as being the outcome, He answers. I can just hear God say, “This is going to look like I’m closing a door, and a BIG one at that! But, if you will trust Me, I’m going to be opening up floor to ceiling windows!”
The details from here get a little blurry, but as we took a few days to seek heavily through reading His Word and prayer, God has us in a place that both my husband and I have never been before. Jeremy, flat on his face, knowing you can trust in nothing but the God of Heaven. And I, being only in the position to pray for my husband, that God would give him clarity to make the best decision for our family.
When the Israelites, the slaves in Egypt, were set free with the guidance of Moses and they took off into the desert, God wanted to take them to their Promised Land. God purposely led them on a path that would take them straight to the edge of the Red Sea. Could God have taken them on a path around this Sea? Well, of course! But God was preparing these Israelites, His children, for a journey of trust and faith. God led them here, to the water’s edge, so He could perform one of the greatest miracles still talked about today! But not until someone was willing to take that first step into the water and say, “God, we trust You. We know You will never leave us, nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). We have faith that You will work out whatever it is You are going to do with this body of water,” was God able to miraculously part this water in half and allow them to cross on DRY ground. Only GOD can do this.
Jeremy came home and said “God keeps telling me that we have a story to write and it’s not by staying here. It’s time for us to go. This lesson for me is about trust and faith and will I be willing to trust God with my all. He has me flat on my face and without Him; I can do or be NOTHING. So because this journey is about trust and faith, I have to look at our options of staying or going. I have struggled because I want to stay. But God keeps telling me that to stay is the easy choice. It would involve no trust or faith. But to go with absolutely nothing would require more trust and faith than ever before. I need a Charlotte address and I need to be local to interview. God will provide.”
So that is that and off we go. Come January 30th, we are pulling out of this amazing, God filled state with breathtaking beauty, and traveling to an unknown territory with everything we could ever need in this life, each other. The Fearless Four.
Are we leaving too quickly? Have we really taken time to “hear” God’s voice? Do we need to wait on signs from Him? We believe He has made Himself very clear. He is needing someone to take that step into the Red Sea, for the hundred thousands that are anxiously waiting behind, so that the miracle He is wanting to perform can happen. He has taken us this far, why in the world would He not go before us?