First off, for those who do not know me, my children are now 10 and 8 years old. I never thought that I would come to this point in my life. Truly, I didn’t. Even though I stay home as a full time mom, even though I have a degree in elementary education, I never believed this was a path I would need to take. I am a firm believer in educating my kiddos to the core, having their foundation be solid, teaching them to take a stand with their peers, understanding why we believe what we believe, and then sending them off on their merry way. I am the mom who welcomes them to be exposed (in the right way) to what it means to live in this world and being careful not to shield them too much from reality. The problem is, the world my kids are exposed to these days is drastically different from when I was a kid. And that wasn’t too long ago!
As I had coffee with a friend, she made a simple comment about possibly homeschooling one of her children. As the conversation progressed, I said to her, “oh, that is great, if that’s what you feel led to do. I’m always open to what God wants me to do, but this is not something He has put on my heart. I’d be open to it if He did, but thank goodness, it’s not for me.” Well, less than 24 hours later, whack! He hit me upside the head (based on multiple reasons) and there I found myself sitting in stunned silence. And less than 24 hours after that, He showed me that it would be both, not just one child, that I would be keeping home. As I have processed these last few days, I have found myself contemplating my “why” to this decision. Here is what I have come up with:
- Obedience to God. Even though this seems cliché, I can’t go any further without this being my number 1 reason. I have felt His timing has been working up to this, it’s been made clear in my heart along with being confirmed, so now I get to make the final choice. Will I obey and have faith that He will see me through each step or let fear stand in my way and choose to ignore it?
- A gift with which to bless my children. This is a gift, a blessing, that my kids get to add to their life resume! When I thought about our family unit as a whole, I asked myself what was most important to me, as their mom, us, as their parents? My answer was that they seek to serve and love God with all their heart and to receive His abundant blessings on their life in accordance with choices they make. The peer pressure and opportunities for them to fail are handed to them on a platter these days (especially for my son, who’s an avid follower). I want to give them this gift, this time I’ve been given with them as their mom, to set them up for success as much as possible.
- A chance to die to self. I did not want to choose this path. I enjoy my “me time” and because I stay home and have most of the day to myself now, I have been feeding into my selfish side. I can do all that needs to be done with my home, along with catching up on shows, meeting friends for lunch dates, along with sneaking in coffee dates with my hubby when his schedule allows. I also understand a lot of you may hold full time jobs and are not able to enjoy these pleasures. Some of you may say, “wow, aren’t you lucky! It would only be a dream if I could do that.” But it’s not a dream and it brings zero gratification. I didn’t always have this “schedule”. This is why I believe the time is ripe for me to die to self and give this to my children. I will have plenty of time in my life to have these “pleasures”, but truly, when my day consists of what’s listed above, who’s life am I really making better? That answer would be mine. What a chance to put aside my selfishness and pour into my “classroom”, those being my own two precious babies?
- Asking for guidance and receiving two verses:
2 Timothy 1:5
“When I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also.”
This verse is referencing Paul, who was speaking to Timothy, his young apprentice. Paul became a mentor in Timothy’s life, teaching him many things. Paul knew of Timothy’s character, not only by watching and observing his own actions, but by knowing the legacy he came from. Upon reading this verse, it stopped me in my tracks. This is the legacy I want my kids to have when they become adults, the legacy that Paul could clearly see in Timothy. What better way to help mold them into having this testimony then teaching it to them everyday, here at home? I want to be that “Eunice” in their life.
Psalm 32:8
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.”
I asked God to give me a verse that I could use for myself, as their mom and their teacher. I needed a verse that would allow me to cling to the words and the meaning. I turned to this verse in Psalms and sat there in stunned silence. This was the perfect verse I needed. It will be written all over my house for me to remember who will direct my steps as I do this. Thank you Lord for being so faithful when we ask!
I have only chosen to say “Yes” to this huge task because it has just now been added as an option to take on my journey of life. I love our public school. We moved to this county because of our school system here. This is the time in my life when God was ready to reveal this to me. He didn’t lay this on my heart at any other time because I could not have made it work until now. I am praying that if you too happen to be facing this question in your mind, fearful of taking this step, that this will be of encouragement to you. I pray that you will let God continue to do the work in your life that He wants to do and to remember the truth in the statement that my friend Mandy reminded me of, “If God brought you to it, He will bring you through it!” Thank you Mandy, I love that!
As for me, I have chosen to say yes. Yes to my God, yes to my kids, yes to denying myself. I don’t have a clue what I am going to do or what agenda I will follow, but for now, I think on this Monday morning, our first day, we will start out with HomeEc 101: Laundry. Why? Because it’s spilling over and it’s about time my kids learned how to do it on their own! Homeschooling is about to get REAL!
So get out there and do what you need to do for your family with “Complete Abandon!”
Loving with Abandon 